I have never excelled at multitasking, and that extends to not being able to put something aside to focus on something else. Lately, Pet has needed more from me than I have been able to give, and it has unfortunately left him with doubts. I callously told him that real life takes precedence over our current arrangement and I know that I hurt him. I know because I saw his face when he mumbled that this, too, is real life. And he's right. It is real life, it is our life, it is a give and take and I seem to live on the taking end.
The Truth is, the actual truth, is that I mean life outside our rules and our home and our world, sometimes DOES take over in my head. I've been dealing with family drama and my own depression and it's been very difficult for me to compensate. I'm not interested in sex, but our life isn't only about sex, and when I neglect that, I neglect him. We haven't played in some time. I haven't been able to find the energy, honestly, but we played tonoght. And though the session was shorter than I had intended, I found that it was what I needed. I have to learn to trust those instincts for both of us.
In related news, ball gags are exceptionally hot.
Thank you for playing with me. Sorry about the shortened session. I won't make that mistake again.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm glad you liked the gag. I can't wait for your other new toy to arrive and for me to show it off. :)
ReplyDelete